When Will Jesus Return? (Bible Verses Harold Camping Didn't Read, and Why the World Isn't Ending Anytime Soon)

Dear Harold Camping,

I hear you have a new prediction for when Jesus is due to return to earth. Just so you know, there appear to be some important verses missing from your Bible...pretty much all the verses that talk about when, exactly, Jesus is coming again. Here they are. Feel free to cut and paste them in when you have time.

But of that day and hour knows no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. (Matthew 24:36)

Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. (Matthew 24:42)

Therefore be you also ready: for in such an hour as you think not the Son of man comes. (Matthew 24:44)

Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man comes. (Matthew 25:13)

And as he sat on the mount of Olives over against the temple, Peter and James and John and Andrew asked him privately, Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign when all these things shall be fulfilled? And Jesus answering them began to say, Take heed lest any man deceive you: For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many. And when you shall hear of wars and rumors of wars, be you not troubled: for such things must needs be; but the end shall not be yet. For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be earthquakes in divers places, and there shall be famines and troubles: these are the beginnings of sorrows.

But take heed to yourselves: for they shall deliver you up to councils; and in the synagogues you shall be beaten: and you shall be brought before rulers and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them. And the gospel must first be published among all nations. (Mark 13:3-10)

But of that day and that hour knows no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father. (Mark 13:32)

And he said to them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father has put in his own power. (Acts 1:7)

The Bible does say that Jesus is coming again. Twice, in fact. First, he's coming to the air to call home every soul that belongs to him. The world will be left on its own for a little while. Not one real Christian left (I don't think I need to explain that - you've probably encountered real ones and fake ones and you can figure out the difference). (Also, you might think a world without Christians sounds alright, but if you have a Christian friend, s/he probably carries your name in prayer to God daily. What's that worth?)

Then, in a time of unprecedented war and destruction, Jesus is coming to the earth to reign in peace for one thousand years. (Won't it be interesting to see how that's done!) So things might get messy (war and destruction and all) but the world can't end for at least another thousand years or so.

There's so much wack religion out there to distract us from reality. If you, like me, are hungry for something with a little less flake, Bible.cc is an online Bible in a list of translations that you can search by word or topic, and use to draw your own conclusions.