Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Abba, Father

But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.
Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
(Romans 8:10-30) 
 Why am I so empty of love? Why is my mind so dull and my heart so weak? I struggle and struggle to control my frustration and my anger and my hurt hurt heart. I beat against the bars of my own self. I toss and turn and restlessness wraps around me. I gather myself together and hold tight my tattered shreds of hope amid the shifting shadows. I strain my eyes to see spiritual truth through the dim. But flee or stay, they always catch up with me - hurt, rage, hopelessness. I am the one who is wrong - that much is plain, even to me! Yet - how to change? How to live with grace? I am ashamed. I long for more. I have known - sometime, somehow - love that delights to give even while it hurts; grace like oil; hope like a white-winged bird that rises in the dark and the whorl; peace of heart strong enough to calm the clatter of what-ifs and what-if-nots that crowd me into dim corners. These gifts exist, and the child of God ought to have them. 

Abba, have mercy on my smallness and my emptiness. Give me eyes to see the Christ in the mundane march of my days. Give me a heart like Yours, wide and wild and full of love that delights to cover over others' sin. Give me joy, warm and deep and wide-eyed. Give me strength to run when the road is too long and too uphill. Give me the wisdom that knows not just what - but how and when and why. I am Your child, and I bear Your name. For the honour of Your name, Abba, remember me, and give me Your good gifts.


joeyanne said...

praying and groaning with you from afar!

Mama said...

Oh, my spirit responds to yours! I, too, desire the same things. You have said it well. Thank you for putting it into words. Love, love love!!