Monday 4 November 2013

The Lord Stands Beside You

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ ”
“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. (Genesis 3:1-6)
Why does it feel like wisdom to doubt the God who shamed Himself for us?

Why do we continue to believe the same lie - that God will give us less than the Greatest Good?

Father, help me not just to give up, but to give over - to trust You with all. This world gets in my eyes, all smokey, and the things You say don't match what I see and feel, and I find myself questioning You instead of the haze that crowds my senses. Like Eve, I am unsure of Your goodness, and flesh screams, and reason wavers and bends under the pressure, and I begin to think that there is some good You withhold from me. I am tempted to just give up on Your way, because it doesn't seem to fit, and because it seems too hard, and I make the excuse that I am just too weak for it all. But faith means putting You to the ultimate test - jumping out of the boat and sinking and calling You for help, risking all in hope that You are right and Your way leads to Good. This world says there is a better, smarter way to succeed. It says that doubting You is wisdom. But faith bets all on You, on the wisdom of Your way, on the truth of Your Love. I will cast myself on You. I will risk all on the truth that Your way must be better than mine. I will wait for You. I will try on Your truth in real-time.

Oh God, give love, that ability to sacrifice and keep on sacrificing; to take pain and yet keep on giving and then to not carry resentment. Give deep, driving passion for the honour of Your name. Give faith, rich and real - faith that risks it all on You. I give in to You. I will let go of other things. But give love.
Psalm 121: A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem
I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!
He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.
The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.
The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Greetings,
I found your blog via some of your comments (linked below) on another site
http://sandwichesforsale.blogspot.com/2007/09/my-deconversion-story-in-which-we-learn_27.html

I am currently going through a similar "crisis of faith" as the author of the blog and have talked to quite a few christians over the last few months about it.
I just wanted to say yours is the first type of response that i find relate-able. More often than not people will start out by saying "i understand what you're going through" and then follow it up with statements to the contrary.

jennypo said...

Hi Anonymous. Thanks for coming by and telling me. Having the bottom of your faith fall out is a truly terrible experience, and I don't wish it on anyone, but it does give you a sense of there being a lot of things you don't know, doesn't it?

I pray that you will find satisfaction both in asking the hard questions, and in the answers you ultimately find. It is not a comfortable process, but let us rather be bruised by the truth than sung to sleep by a lie.

mama said...

This type of struggle is gold, silver, precious stone.
In the final analysis, when we stand all alone and only Christ is visible, under the pressure and heat of life, then comes forth the gold and silver refined by the fire and the precious stone formed by the pressure.