By Suffering

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keeps the law, happy is he. (Proverbs 29:18)

Seldom have I been so cut off from God's perspective of things as I am now. I feel the need of vision. I long to see as he sees. I so often feel that whatever is being drawn out of this experience can hardly be worth it...but how I can speak of worth before that One who is worthy of all that I have and am; before whom there can be no waste...?

“For the glory and the passion of this midnight
I praise thy name, I give Thee thanks, O Christ!
Thou that hast neither failed me nor forsaken
Through these hard hours with victory overpriced..."
(H. Hamilton King)

Nevertheless, I know, deep deep deep, that He is Good. That He loves me. That all He gives, no matter how it hurts, is Good, and for my Good. And deep deep deep, I love Him. I love Him more than I love comfort. I love Him more than I love being in control. I desire His approval more than I desire the approval of those I can see and hear and touch.  Beneath my fears and my quakings; beneath my roiling emotion and my shaking, I trust the Jesus who cried, who became weary, who was frustrated, who hungered and thirsted, who died. I trust the Jesus who cried from his cross, "Why?!" He is altogether lovely, my Jesus. With all my breath and energy, with my sweat and tears and blood, let me tell who He is, that One who loves, who gives, who waits still, for me and for you...

Unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake. (Philippians 1:29)

That most closely we may follow Him
By Suffering, have all hearts of men allowed.
Is Suffering then more near and dear to God
For its own sake than Joy is? God forbid !
We know not its beginning nor its end ;
Is it a sacrifice? a test? a school ? . . .
We suffer. Why we suffer— that is hid
With God's foreknowledge in the clouds of Heaven.
(H. Hamilton King)

If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. (Luke 9:23)

But if, impatient, thou let slip thy Cross,
Thou wilt not find it in this world again,
Nor in another; here, and here alone,
Is given thee to suffer for God's sake. —

In other worlds we shall more perfectly
Serve Him and love Him, praise Him, work for Him,
Grow near and nearer Him with all delight;
But then we shall not any more be called
To suffer, — which is our appointment here.

Couldst thou not suffer then, one hour — or two ?
If He should call thee from thy Cross to-day.
Saying, it is finished ! — that hard Cross of thine
From which thou prayest for deliverance, —
Thinkest thou not some passion of regret
Would overcome thee ? Thou wouldst say " So soon ?
Let me go back, and suffer yet awhile
More patiently ! — I have not yet praised God."
And He might answer to thee, — " Never more —
All pain is done with !"  (H. Hamilton King)

Your grace is enough
More than I need
And your word I will believe
I wait for you
Draw near again
And your spirit make me new
And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Your presence in me
Jesus light the way
By the power of your word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By your spirit i am free
And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Sovereign king
Rescued the world
This is our God

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here
And i will fall at your feet

I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here
Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever out God is glorified
Sovereign king
Rescued the world
This is our God.
(Hillsong)