My Expectation is From Him

And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do to them, and not forsake them. (Isaiah 42:16)

Lord, I have been blind: blind to Your goodness, to Your purpose. I have been groping in the dark. I am still unable to see You as I long to see You. I don't know exactly what it is that I'm looking for, but I remain unsatisfied, though I know that You can satisfy me. I do believe that Your way is the best way, for this life as well as the next one. I do believe that the reward is here and not just in eternity. I do believe that following You is the rich life, the exciting life, the full life. I will hold on.

And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, Speak to the children of Israel, that they turn and encamp before Pihahiroth, between Migdol and the sea, over against Baalzephon: before it shall you encamp by the sea. For Pharaoh will say of the children of Israel, They are entangled in the land, the wilderness has shut them in. And I will harden Pharaoh's heart, that he shall follow after them; and I will be honored on Pharaoh, and on all his host; that the Egyptians may know that I am the LORD. (Exodus 14:1-4)

 What is interesting in this story is that God is so specific. He doesn't just send them to the bank of the sea and then leave them there to wonder what He's doing with them. He tells them exactly what He is going to do, and what they need to do, and what the purpose is. Sometimes I just feel like if I had this much information, I wouldn't be struggling the way I am. Isn't the hard part not knowing? But then, maybe I'm being unfair. After all, how long did the Israelites wait in Egypt, aching for deliverance, before they packed their bags and ate the Passover? They waited for God to lead them out; waited while a generation of baby boys was drowned in the Nile; waited while Moses grew up and ran away and hid in Midian and learned how to control his temper. No, it's not fair to compare. And after all, God may do as He pleases with each of us.

These things says he that is holy, he that is true, he that has the key of David, he that opens, and no man shuts; and shuts, and no man opens. (Revelation 3:7)

Father, change my circumstances or change my heart, whichever You will. You alone are able to open doors and shut them, and no one may oppose You.

 My soul, wait you only upon God; for my expectation is from him. (Psalm 62:5)

I lean in to You, Father. Give or take away. I am afraid, but I look to You. I cannot make my own way. I will receive it from Your hand.