Heart Cries

Father, in my heart there is hate and anger and bitterness, self-preservation and pride and the desire to hit back. I don’t know how far I am willing to go to be free from these, but I do know that I don’t choose them and I don’t want them. You know that I cannot make myself free from them. You know that I am weak and weary. I believe that it is Your desire to burn these out of me, and I consent with my will even when I cannot complete the action. You see me to the depths. Even when I don’t know myself, You know me. Read my heart, and see there, beneath the fighting and the snarling and the self-love, my true desire to honour Jesus Christ. Satisfy my deep heart, and not these petty wishes that overshadow it and overcome my near-sighted self with their alternate shrieks and groans. I confess my wrong before You. I cannot change myself, but I invite You to shine Your light into my conflicted soul, to witness my shame, and so to set me free from it. Let me receive Your rich grace so that I will be able to give it. You humble and exalt. I bend myself before You. I would have Jesus.