To Him Who Judges Justly

Father, I am tired of trying so hard to give grace to those who disrespect me. Buddha says that I could just stop wanting to be respected. Religion says that I should just try harder. I know that these aren't Your way. Please, pour Your love into my heart so that I will be able to accept any treatment and keep giving. 

When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. (1 Peter 2:23)

I want to make threats. I want to shut them down. But hold me. Set your guard in front of my mouth. Capture my rebel of a heart, and let me be led by Love. Let me be so thoroughly loved by You that I can be hurt but not overcome by the withholding of human love. Only You can do this in me, and I believe it is Your desire. When I try to do it with my own strength, the bile rises in my throat and I am forced to back down in defeat. O God, be merciful to me, a sinner! Control me. Teach me to dance Your dance.

You judge justly. I do trust You! Please manage my whirling thoughts and my pride-wounded heart. Let me lay this, too, on Your altar. Teach me to die gladly to my awful, powerful self. Let me love.